The Umbridge Pester Squad TUPS
by warriorfb
Summary: This is a story made out of small stories I came up with without real reason but boredom. Don't expect to much, but I will try to give you some fun stories. see it as a story of oneshots.
1. a toad in her natural habitat

**edit 11/03/17: Even this was one of the stories that were checked multiple times before uploading it I was able to correct a small few mistakes, and neaten up the layout a bit.**

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 **The Umbridge Pester Squad/ TUPS**

 **The Umbridge Pester Squad, or TUPS for short is a oneshot series with no storyline at but making the live of umbridge a living hell. It is just a series of short stories which I thought of when I didn't work on my main story, Death's lord commander. This story will most likely be small chapters of things the entirety of Hogwarts are willing to do to make the live of Umbridge a living hell, so, not serious, and I have no idea how many chapters this is going to have, so have fun.**

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 **Prologue**

 **7th of October, 1995**

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There was a ministry appointed DADA teacher this year, 'Professor' Umbridge. At the welcoming feast was the moment half of Hogwarts decided that this woman meant trouble, and most likely a lot of detentions for a certain 15 year old boy. So, the weasley's decided to act accordingly, they had to keep up their records of course as biggest troublemakers of Hogwarts, So they came up with the power of twin force with an huge amount of pranks for the entirety of the year.

So it is the two decided that the room of the toad was to clean for her, and there were too few friends of hers in the room, so what would be better then give the toad a few friends and a room makeover as a welcoming present.

Two days of planning and contacting people later and the two were ready to give the toad her welcoming present.

The day began with a bit of fun in the great hall. The Slytherins were walking with pink hair, the Gryffindor's with red hair, the Hufflepuffs with green hair, and the Ravenclaws with brass colored hair, the teacher were sprouting feathers, and couldn't say a word, without squawking like a frightened duck, old toady could only talk like a toad, not too much of a difference there.

That evening the toad fell asleep in her room.

* * *

 **The next day**

* * *

Next morning she woke up, and did not even notice the 200 toads that were jumping around in her room, nor did she notice that her entire floor was missing, or at least… it was changed into one of the twins' portable swamps.

The toad stepped out of bed into the swamp and the rest you can fill in, something about "to the throat in the mud" or something.

When the woman finally came to breakfast the entire hall just looked right at her, keeping in their laughs at the woman covered in mud with a toad in her hair.

No one was found that day, and that day was the beginning of the hell called teaching at Hogwarts.


	2. revenge of the centaurs

**Edit 11/03/'17: again mostly layout changes, but a few small grammar fixes were imparted into the chapter as well.**

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 **I had quite a bit of inspiration the last week for this story, and I have written out three of the stories, and have another five on paper right now which I still have to work out, I hope you like what is coming up, and if not, well, you can't please everyone...**

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 **The first was the chapter I had already written out last saturday when I thought of most of the ideas I have on paper now, it was inspired by Rorschach's Blot's story make a wish, the scene of the Veela and Harry playing a few games of Monopoly to be exact. It was a very fun story to read, and I still like to come back to it once in awhile when I need a bit of positive spirit, and I thought this would be fun to write, and fun for readers to read, there may be more stories like this storyline coming up later.**

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 **The many things the centaurs could have done with Umbridge. Mk. 1**

 **Before the centaurs took her away**

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Centaur nr.1

"HA! Finally we can have our vengeance, as punishment for your terrible rules and regulations we will let you go through the same hell as you forced us to go through!"

Centaur nr.2

"Thanks to you we were not allowed to play any game but scrabble for the last ten years! Now we will force you to do the same, and you will play against Firenze, no one has won against him in three years since Maddison died…" Centaur nr.2 said with a solemn face.

Centaur nr.3

"What a tragic day that was… We lost the only one who could keep Firenze from beating us constantly that day…" The female centaurs seemed to have tears in her eyes and was watching Umbridge with pure hatred and disdain.

Centaur nr.2 again.

"As I was saying, you will go up against Firenze until the day you will win!" Evil laughter from all centaurs around followed this remark.

A bit to the side of the clearing Harry Hermione and Groump were watching how a screaming Umbridge was dragged away from the clearing.

Harry was the first to speak up.

"Hermoine, Do you know what is so bad about scrabble that it is seen as a punishment? As far as I know it's just a game where you use words to earn yourself points, not the most fun of games I have to admit, but better than some other games I know of…"

"You're right, maybe the wizarding equivalent is worse or…" Her look of confusion suddenly morphed in that of understanding, but she still didn't continue.

"Hermione?" Harry asked, getting even more confused, what could make Hermione confused anyway?

"I believe it's not the game that is different, but the people playing it…" She finally said.

"Huh?" was Harry very intelligent answer to this new information.

After a sigh Hermione finally elaborated.

"For scrabble you need Mathematical skills, and you know how many lessons we get in those at school, exactly, none, and a working brain is also quite useful to play it, and you know how great magicals are with their brains, even Dumbledore does very stupid stuff on a regular basis, only most people are afraid to take it to him, or just believe he is right every time he makes a decision… The chance to find a small bit of logic in the magical world is as small as it is to find out dinosaurs actually still exist right next door."

* * *

 **In a secret cave right next to Hogwarts**

A T-Rex suddenly had the urge to eat an unknown small bushy haired female creature.

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"So scrabble is actual hell for most pureblood wizards who have not learned to think for themselves, and have never even heard from equations." Hermione finished.

After thinking a bit Harry finally reacted, "That actually makes sense…"

The two waved to Groump and walked off back towards the castle, completely forgotten why they were so stressed just minutes ago, or at least, until they came across Luna, Ginny, Ron and Neville.

* * *

 **People have three ways of dealing with fear, fight, flight or freeze, and I thought, how would Luna handle seeing her biggest nightmare, a small human sized pink toad? And well, this is the very short version of what I came up with...**

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 **Fight, flight and freeze**

 **September 1** **st** **, 1995**

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No one knew what luna's biggest fear was but her, so it was a big surprise when Luna walked into the great hall on the first day of her 4th year, and saw her biggest fear sitting on the head table.

There on the head table sat a pink toad, and the worst about it, it was as big as a small human!

So there were three things a normal human being could do in such a "frightening situation", you guessed it, fight, flight or freeze, Luna appeared to be one of the small group that fought when they were "afraid", this was the first practical lesson on defense against the dark arts with their new toa-, I mean teacher, how to defend yourself from a frightened 4th year Ravenclaw who has hidden her intelligence quite well till now, and knows the library even better than Hermione does(you get that when you are a complete outcast thanks to people thinking you are completely crazy…).

Before anyone could see what happened it had already happened, a foul yellow colored spell headed to the woman, The woman didn't stand a chance, The spell hit her and she slowly started to swell up like a balloon, after the first she fired another spell, why she used the spell to make Nargles visible she didn't know, but it felt right, and sure enough, over a hundred nargles fell out of the air in the room.

This was a win win situation for Luna, she was able to beat her worst fear, and prove to the entire school she was(n't) crazy, and the best of it all, she could say "Told you so!" to Hermione, and got her speechless at the same time, can a year start any better?!

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 **I'm not sure how my mind came up with this exactly after six hours of maths at school in preparation for my exams of next Monday, but, I think it has turned out quite… interesting.**

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 **Student becomes teacher, teacher becomes… dummy?**

* * *

It was the first DADA lesson of the year, and it had started of great, they got free books that literally said they would not learn a thing in the upcoming year, and when the class(Hermione) pointed this fact out to Umbridge, she decided to take up the good little toa… eh, pardon me, teacher role.

"Using spells? I can't imagine why you would need to use spells in my classroom." The pink clothed professor stated in a matter of fact way whilst keeping the fakest of smiles on her face.

"We're not gonna use magic?" Ron asked after the so called professor's statement.

"you're learning about defensive spells in a secure and risk free way." Umbridge stated again, her smile seemingly changing into a more smug one instead of the fake one she had been carrying till now.

"What use is that if we're gonna be attacked, it won't be risk free." Harry stated just as matter of factly.

"Students will raise their hands when they speak in my class." She snapped at Harry before turning around and walking back to the front of the classroom before continuing. "It is the view of the ministry that a theoretical knowledge would be sufficient to get you through your examinations, which after all, is what school is all about"

"And how is theory supposed to prepare us for what's out there?" Harry shot back getting more than a bit annoyed.

"There is nothing out there, dear. Who'd you imagine would attack children like yourself?" Umbridge said, again in her very fake motherly voice.

"Oh, I don't know, maybe… Lord Voldemort?" This seemed to hit a trigger at the toad's brain as she seemed to freeze up, and slowly lose her smile, and for a bit she couldn't find the right words to say.

"Now, let me make this quite plain, you have been told that a certain dark wizard is at large ones again, This. is. a. lie!"

"It's not a lie I fought him, I saw him!" before Harry could go any further Umbridge handed him a detention with her that evening, this, is where our plot changes.

"No." Harry said in a deadly calm voice.

"What did you say mister Potter?" Umbridge asked Harry.

"No, I am not allowing another useless year of defense lessons, I am not allowing to have an entire generation be defenseless when their time is most dire, I am not allowing you to force our hand by handing out detentions for "lying" as you put it. " Harry seethed.

"Mister Potter, you don't talk to a superior like me like you're doing, another week of detention!"

This is where Harry broke.

"Okay, professor, if you won't learn us anything, then I will." Within seconds he was standing and had his wand pointed at the pink clad teacher, before the toad could do anything a full body bind had hit her.

"Someone wants to have target practice?" Harry asked the class, when no one answered, he just stated, "Well then, let's start with the full body bind shall we?"

At the end of the lesson everyone agreed that this had been one of the best defense lessons they had had since professor Lupin had left the school, and before he got there.

* * *

 **Not sure if I will follow this up with something on a later date, but I thought it was pretty fun to write, although a bit tedious as it was my first chapter partly written from already existing footage(the movie) because I couldn't remember what was said in which order and all that, so yeah...**

 **If you liked it, you can tell me, don't be shy,if you have ideas, I would say use them, and such, questions? ask them, and I'll see if I can answer them.**


	3. toad meets dark lord

**edit: 11/03/'17: I made a few lay out modifications and a few grammar errors have been corrected.**

 **Note: I was not planning to bring this chapter out yet, but it seems that quite a few people like this story or idea trash bin, or whatever it is... and thanks for my first few favs and follows, I appreciate seeing that people like what I write, it feels good:) So thank you zoeshadow, Paladin3030 and Imaqt16 for favoriting and/or following my story, I really appreciate it.**

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 **story note: I would say I was writing this under the influence of alcohol, but a total of one beer in the last week, or was it year…? Not sure… ow well, no matter which one of the two it is, it is not enough to make me drunk, so probably not the case then…**

 **Just a weird idea I thought of one lonely evening somewhere between when I write this, and before my exams started. (math was far to easy, and Dutch just plain old annoying, all the answers you had to choose between pretty much meant the same, which makes answering right quite tricky… I hate Dutch, to many rules, to little logics. My English exam has been planned for the 28** **th** **of April, perfect day for it, a day after the entirety of the Netherlands have partied until morning(and half of those will have a good little hangover, or will still be drunk... yeah)… great timing for an exam! :| )**

 **Ow well, enjoy the following.**

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 **Toad meets dark lord**

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 **29** **th** **of December 1995**

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Voldemort had decided he needed a bit of out time half way during the holidays, his headquarters had been quite filled since they had taken every death eater out of Azkaban, and he needed a bit of silence about him once in awhile. This brought him to a nice pub in knockturn alley called the bisected Unicorn, it was nice and cheap and very much ministry official free, he had decided he would go under a nice disguise as a twenty something year old called Thomas Van der Malen, a European pureblood.

He was having a nice chat with a nice individual when someone came into the pub who looked remarkably like someone Lucius had got the idiot of a Fudge to put into Hogwarts as a teacher, He had not expected any ministry official to come to a pub in knockturn alley, but apparently she came here quite regularly as she seemed to know the barkeeper.

"Evening Umbridge, How are things?" The barkeep asked the toad like woman with a seemingly very forced and fake smile.

"Little buggers are hell on earth, I can't see how someone could want to teach full time, I only did it because someone that is loyal to the minister should keep an eye inside of the school. That Potter brat is the worst of all of them though, he just goes on and on with his lie how a certain dark lord has returned, while everyone knows it's just Dumbledore's way of trying to disrupt the ministry so he can take up the seat of minister himself with the personal army the brat is forming for him." The pink clad toad like woman said to the barkeep, not even caring anything about the other people in the pub, or that a dark lord in disguise was sitting just two meters away from the woman, even though he was smirking like mad.

Voldemort was listening to the woman with great interest, it is not every day you find a talking toad of course, although the tone of the voice was not exactly to his liking(a bit to sultry, and fake sweet sounding). He liked what he was hearing though, that the ministry still thought him dead, and they suspected that Dumbledore was forming an army.

"I have had Potter write lines stating "I may not tell lies" every evening for months now, and he still keeps up his lies and the worst about it, even under all the degrees he is still keeping an illegal club, we have not yet found out where he holds it and who's in it, but we will find out, you will see in time, the minister will be so proud when I take the boy and Dumbledore into prison for treason, I can already see the raise I will get…" She seemed to zone out for a bit.

"Are you sure letting the boy write lines is enough of a punishment?" Voldemort asked in the slightly younger(and more human) sounding voice of his disguise.

"I have also given out a lifetime ban to quidditch for both him and those weasleys." She said with a smug smile before continuing: "And do you really think I would let him write those lines with a normal quill that uses ink?" She asked the disguised dark lord, still with that smug look on her face(not making it any more pleasant to look the woman in the face), "I let him use a blood quill of course, you learn a lot more thanks to those, you know what they say, 'Pain is the best teacher' and all that."

Everyone in the dinky looking pub looked at her mouths gaping, no one expecting her to be serious, but seeing nothing on her face that was indicating she was lying.

Voldemort could appreciate a good Cruciatus curse, but forcing a child to write thousands of lines with a blood quill? That was even too low for his comfort, hack, even Bella wouldn't force a child to do that! And she liked to torture her victims into insanity! (Although the Longbottom's were an accident, it was her husband and his brother who were torturing them, while Bella was keeping watch.) Bella usually only tortured children by cutting something in their arms with one of her beloved knives(usually just mudblood or dirty blood, or blood traitor) before killing them in a quick way, whatever people thought, she wasn't heartless, not like the Carrows who literally tortured their own children to let them remember who was in power, which sickened him slightly which he of course would never admit to anyone.

"Who are you anyway? I haven't seen you here before." The woman accused the dark lord in disguise.

Voldemort thought if this woman was worth showing the trump card, and after a bit decided on the old fashioned evasive way of doing it.

"You wouldn't believe it if I said who I was." He decided on saying.

"When you tell me your name I will decide if I believe it or not." She said in her smug tone again, like she was playing him out or something.

'Damn, this woman is even more stupid then I had expected…' The dark lord thought to himself.

"I am Lord Voldemort, lord of all." He decided to say while keeping up his vacate of the young man. Umbridge her vile and ugly smile seemed to disappear for a small moment before she burst out laughing(hysterically).

"Pff, do you really believe I would believe I would fall for that? You do not even look like him!" The dark lord took a small swig of his firewhiskey.

"There are such things as glamours you know." Voldemort replied meekly. "why not try to get them off of me, if nothing changes, you are right, if things change, you are wrong." 'And most likely dead,' he finished off inside of his head.

The entire bar had their full attention(which is not that much if you look at the statistics you will find that a class of first graders(muggle(-born) only of course) have a better attention span than most wizards in the pub.) focused on the pink toad like woman and the man who said he was the dark lord, which most didn't believe, their dark lord never went to a pub after all, did he now?

When the woman finally pulled out her wand the entirety of the pub waited in rapt attention.

"Finite" The woman said, and a few of the charms actually wore off, if it was someone else who did the charm you would find all the charms would have been deleted, but as it was done by a toad, only the most necessary ones were forced off, which means the eyes hair and hands.

But that was all she needed. She suddenly started to pale very fast when she saw the red snake like eyes glaring at her.

Before the woman could say anything more the most lethal curse of the unforgivable was thrown at her by the young man with Voldemort's eyes, hair and hands, it actually just moved over her, and went into the ground to the surprise of everyone in the pub.

"Ow… right… unforgivable don't work on toads, I completely forgot…" Voldemort said while scratching the back of his head. "Well… then we have to do it the old fashioned way. REDUCTO!"

"I prefer the killing curse because of the messiness of most of the other curses, but I had no other choice, you all saw it, she attacked me, and out of reflex I killed her, can't do anything about that now can I?" Voldemort asked(read ordered) the pub after he put back the glamours.

* * *

4 months of celebration followed this up and Thomas Van Der Malen was seen from that day onward as a hero in magical Britain. As you may expect the story after this fact went completely different from cannon, Harry didn't have a problem getting to the ministry and was able to get out of there with his friends without coming across the death eaters as they expected them over two hours later then they had come, and thanks to this the prophecy was destroyed before Voldemort could hear the full extend, and Voldemort was not spotted by over a hundred ministry workers, so they still had no reason to believe Voldemort had returned and the ministry was taken over a year earlier than in canon because of the still inactive ministry, Harry never finds out about what the diary really was as the headmaster was killed before Dumbledore wanted to collect Harry to hire Slughorn, and after fifteen years of fighting Harry finally is able to beat Voldemort, the cost was a hundred times worse than it was in cannon, and magical Britain had already been found out by the muggles, and as such the third world war had started between muggles and magicals, the first war in centuries where capitalism and communism was fighting next to each other for the same cause, the extinction of magicals.

In the end Harry was the only one left as he had found the resurrection stone, kept the cloak, and had won the elder wand from Voldemort. The world had been changed into a warzone, and there was nowhere left where people could live safely anymore without a huge risk radiation poisoning.

final population count earth, december 2015: 1, a 20 year old looking Harry James Potter

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 **story note: Not exactly how I expected it to become, but hey, it's weird enough that I am starting to think I should just add a weird idea one shot story in general, I can probably think of enough weird things to write, and I probably will make something like that sometime in the future…**

 **Ah well, hope you liked my small update…**

 **Frank out!**


	4. Lesson time!

**Edit 11/03/'17: Stupid me has uploaded part of this before, but ow well... further, minor tweaks to the lay out, and another spelling check... yeah...**

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 **A.N. I found this in the document I use for writing everything, and thought… well… it's done, why didn't I upload it… then I remembered how short this was, and what I was waiting for…(And then when I were editing all of the other stories, I found a very interesting thing, the first part of the chapter... So, ladies and gentlemen, I, am stupid...) a follow up on this, or a completely different short story to couple it with… So, here you have it, I hope you enjoy, same rules as always. You see something tell me, questions, just ask.**

 **Same disclaimer as always.**

 **("Wait, you use disclaimers?" "When I remember to put them in, yes.")**

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 **Student becomes teacher, teacher becomes… dummy?**

* * *

 **DADA classroom, Hogwarts.**

* * *

It was the first DADA lesson of the year, and it had started of great, they got free books that literally said they would not learn a thing in the upcoming year, and when the class pointed this fact out to Umbridge, she decided to take up the good little toa… eh, pardon me, teacher role.

"Using spells? I can't imagine why you would need to use spells in my classroom." The pink clothed professor stated in a matter of fact way whilst keeping the fakest of smiles on her face.

"We're not gonna use magic?" Ron asked after the so called professor's statement.

"you're learning about defensive spells in a secure and risk free way." Umbridge stated again, her smile seemingly changing into a more smug one instead of the fake one she had been carrying till now.

"What use is that if we're gonna be attacked, it won't be risk free." Harry stated just as matter of factly.

"Students will raise their hands when they speak in my class." She snapped at Harry before turning around and walking back to the front of the classroom before continuing. "It is the view of the ministry that a theoretical knowledge would be sufficient to get you through you examinations, which after all, is what school is all about"

"And how is theory supposed to prepare us for what's out there?" Harry shot back getting more than a bit annoyed.

"There is nothing out there, dear. Who'd you imagine would attack children like yourself?" Umbridge said, again in her very fake motherly voice.

"Oh, I don't know, maybe… Lord Voldemort?" This seemed to hit a trigger at the toads brain as she seemed to freeze up, and slowly loose her smile, and for a bit she couldn't find the right words to say.

"Now, let me make this quite plain, you have been told that a certain dark wizard is at large ones again, This. is. a. lie!"

"It's not a lie I fought him, I saw him!" before Harry could go any further Umbridge handed him a detention with her that evening, this, is where our plot changes.

"No." Harry said in a deadly calm voice.

"What did you say mister Potter?" Umbridge asked Harry.

"No, I am not allowing another useless year of defense lessons, I am not allowing to have an entire generation be defenseless when their time is most dire, I am not allowing you to force our hand by handing out detentions for "lying" as you put it. " Harry seethed.

"Mister Potter, you don't talk to a superior like me like you're doing, another week of detention!"

This is where Harry broke.

"Okay, professor, if you won't learn us anything, then I will." Within seconds he was standing and had his wand pointed at the pink clad teacher, before the toad could do anything a full body bind had hit her.

"Someone wants to have target practice?" Harry asked the class, when no one answered, he just stated, "Well then, let's start with the full body bind shall we?"

At the end of the lesson everyone agreed that this had been one of the best defense lessons they had had since professor Lupin had left the school, and before he got there.

* * *

 **Not sure if I will follow this up with something on a later date, but I thought it was pretty fun to write, although a bit tedious as it was my first chapter partly written from already existing footage(the movie) because I couldn't remember what was said in which order and all that(and it would be such a bother to search for it in the book, as I would have to translate it as I have the Dutch versions, which I really don't like as much as the English version…).**

* * *

 **The following was a very old idea, by which I mean, I found it last week in my notebook, or… well… the summary(basic idea with nothing extra) of what I thought it would be about… so yeah, I needed a second story before I would allow myself to release it, so here you have it. Enjoy.**

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 **The legend of the pink unicorn.**

 **Private room, Hogwarts**

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It was late in the evening on a terrible night, the wind had picked up during the day and it was an icy cold. The clouds were blocking the full moon from shining down on the castle.

A woman was sat hands in her hair after another day of the torture of teaching at Hogwarts.

"Ugh, I really need a drink…" The woman said before standing up and walking to one of the closet doors in her room. "Let's see… what have I got…"

She opened the door and looked inside. "Wine… Nope, Champagne… Nope, that is for when we arrest Dumbledore and the Potter brad… Beer, why do I even have this? Butterbeer… To mild… "

That is when she noticed the beautiful bottle standing in the back of her closet.

"Oeh, the strongest Vodka of the known world, exactly what I need." She picked the flask up from the shelf and picked up a glass from the shelf underneath it. She did not bother to read what exactly it was, where it came from, or what was in it as the labels were all done in Russian.

So she did not know this was one of those eastern Russian drinks made from quite a few chemicals with which generally weird stuff happened after drinking some of it, but Dolores had long since decided she was in need of the entire bottle.

* * *

 **The next morning.**

* * *

The woman woke up like every morning, but this time she felt… different. Not as in the "I have drunk too much, and damn do I have a hangover" different, but more a "What have I done last night to make Hogwarts so much more colorful" different.

"Good morning Kevin." A voice said from behind her.

Umbridge turned around, and what she found shocked her quite a bit. A pink unicorn was standing next to her bed. She was unable to get any words out of her mouth from her shock.

"What's wrong Kevin?"

"Wh..Wh… What are you!" The woman finally got out.

"I am the pink unicorn of course, my name is Tom by the way."

It took a while before she reacted again.

"Why… AAGH, this is another joke of those stupid children… Yes… that's it, just a joke…" She started to chuckle, it sounded quite a bit like one of those chuckles that people generally match with psychopaths, but hey, that is not that far off now, is it?

"A joke? You think I'm a joke? Ha! That really would be a good joke Kevin."

"Stop calling me Kevin, my name is Dolores Umbridge! I am the ministry appointed high inquisitor of Hogwarts!"

"Of course Kevin." The unicorn said after blinking twice.

"Argh!" After this Umbridge decided to just ignore the unicorn, and blame Potter for it at Breakfast. she quickly found out every time she entered another room, that he would be with her, this made it very awkward in the shower…

* * *

 **Great hall, half an hour later**

* * *

Harry, Ron and Hermione were eating their breakfast when they noticed their latest DADA teacher walking into the room.

"Potter! Four months detention! Oh, And tell your little friend to stop following me everywhere I go!" The woman immediately barked at the young savior.

The three looked at each other, back at the woman, and looked around her to find out who was following the woman.

They heard professor McGonagall approach.

"And what, pray tell me Dolores is the reason for this punishment? Who is following you? because I don't see anyone even remotely near you."

"What! How can you not see it, it is standing right there next to you!"

The entire great hall was just staring at her like she was crazy.

"Owkay… So what is it exactly you see next to me?" Professor McGonagall asked the woman who was apparently seeing things.

"You too! AARGH!" The woman screamed. "Shut up you and Don't call me Kevin you one horned monstrosity!" She screamed in shrill voice just to the side of the other professor before picking her wand from one of the pockets of her cardigan.

No one actually knew how to react to this, so all of the hall decided to do the sensible thing and stay quiet and just go back to eating breakfast. The woman wasn't that far from her usual self anyway, so why worry about it?

* * *

 **DADA classroom**

* * *

She was sitting behind her desk when the 5th year Gryffindor and Slytherin class walked into the room.

The class went quite well for most of it, that is until halfway through the lesson something happened.

The class was reading silently when the silence was broken by a voice from the middle of the room.

"Hello Kevin, why so quiet?" a pink with purple Zebra asked the woman.

This is where the thing over half of the class was waiting for happened, the woman they all despised had gone mad.

The woman had quickly gone for her wand and a bright purple spell was headed at Dean and Seamus.

Harry was the first on his feet and had quickly put a shield charm in front of the two boys. At this point the other DA members were coming to their feet and raising their wands at the woman.

The pink curse shattered against the shield and the woman was starting to throw curses all over the place.

"Parvati, get a teacher!" Harry ordered the girl.

With a quick nod the girl ran out of the door to the closest classroom which happened to be the transfiguration classroom.

All over the classroom shields went up to protect themselves from the rapid firing mad witch in front of the classroom.

"Well, this is turning out as a good lesson…" Dean said slightly shaken from the spell that just had been fired at him seconds before.

"Yeah, how to protect yourself from a mad banshee." Ron said slightly smirking.

For five minutes this went on like that, in the meantime the Zebra and unicorn were just appearing all over the classroom whilst the toad was trying to kill them with stronger and stronger curses.

After the five minute mark multiple shields had shattered and the students were losing ground moving farther back and quite a few students had left the classroom by now(mostly Slytherins).

Things changed after another 2 shields went down and 2 Gryffindor and a Slytherin were hit by yellow and poisonous green spells. They quickly were picked up by Neville, Seamus and Theodore Nott before quickly being brought to the medical wing.

"Okay, that's it, disable her!" Harry ordered the rest of the group and he and Malfoy were the first to drop their shields and started casting disarming and stunning spells at the woman.

The woman held out surprisingly well even though she was surrounded by over a dozen students who were firing spell after spell at her.

Not a minute later their saving grace entered the classroom followed by a shaking and panting Parvati.

The spell fire stopped for a few seconds as the class looked at their newcomer. Or at least, everyone but two who instead put up two giant shields up before looking back at the stern woman standing in the door opening of the room.

Umbridge was still peppering them with spells, and did not seem to notice professor McGonagall had entered the room and stood now in between the slytherin and Gryffindor that were shielding their classmates.

"So, what exactly is it that happened here Mr. Potter?"

"I'm not sure madam, all of us were just reading and suddenly she stood firing spells at Seamus and Dean. I put up a shield for them and well, everyone able to put up a shield did it after that, and after some shields went down three students were wounded so we decided to go on the offensive and well, you can see the good it did, she is still standing, I don't even know what is going on right now. She seems not to notice us, or even when you came in, even now she hasn't noticed it seems…" Harry answered the stern woman.

"Well then Mr. Potter, Mr. Malfoy, shall we try again then, don't just go for stunners though, that is too easy to block, try a few non-lethal charms and curses that can affect the body in a bit more painful manor"

The boys looked at each other before bringing down their shields again and together with their teacher reopened the offensive on the mad woman.

McGonagall used the occasion to teach the practicalities of transfiguration in combat to the student in the room by transfiguring tables into concrete walls which could be used for cover and creating some attack dogs from the chairs which charged the mad woman who was still standing strong.

Another 5 minutes later when the woman was still standing Harry had had enough of the little duel, another three students were hit by spells and brought to the Hospital wing,

"Okay, I have had enough of this shit! Reducto, reducto, bombarda, incendio, incendio!"

None of the spells actually hit the woman, but the two incendios put the floor around the woman on fire, limiting the woman's movement area to a far smaller one, whilst the reductos hit the roof were it created quite large cracks and the bombarda landed behind the woman blowing up the back wall into the woman's office and blowing Umbridge farther from the place where there once was a wall..

Not a second later Professor Dumbledore appeared in the doorway shocked to see the classroom in such disarray. None of the students, nor the teachers paid him any mind.

Within a second though he had the woman floating in the air, stunned and her wand in his hands.

"Professor, please take everyone to the hospital wing, when you are there call for a few more people from saint Mungo's, I will take Madam Umbridge here to my office and from there to the mental ward of the hospital, This was the last time Umbridge ever stepped foot outside of said ward.

"Oh, and 50 points to both Slytherin and Gryffindor for inter house cooperation and protection of your fellow students, and of course quick thinking and leadership in the time of , get to the hospital wing, all of you, before I have to take points for ignoring an order." All students just looked at each other and big grins started spreading on all of their faces as they walked out of the room

* * *

 **This became so much longer than I actually expected, but hey, I find it quite an agreeable chapter.**

 **I hope you enjoyed this chapter, and you know the drill, if you have questions, just ask, and do you see something that does not seem right, or any mistakes, please tell me, I check all of this myself, so I may miss some mistakes.**


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